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Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.
“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.
A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.
But dating — online or off — was hardly a smooth experience.
“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.
“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
You have stories to tell, and passions to share, and things to talk about that are more interesting than the weather.
Montecillo, whose parents are Filipino, was born in New York and spent 13 years living in Hong Kong.“It makes it seem like there’s a dialogue going on from the very beginning,” he said. “Dialogue rather than just messaging.” At first, Maltempo’s wife, Xue Jiang, was unimpressed by his messages. “Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.
Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.Compared with other men she met on Match.com, Maltempo was far less flirtatious and more direct.