Dating and grieving
Keogh recommends taking things slow with a widower, especially during the first few months of a relationship.
Even if your guy tells you that he is in love and ready to start a new life, he may not be ready to move on. You may feel the urge to take control and be the one who makes all the plans in your relationship, when dating a widower.
Don't expect a grieving widower to go through a specific list of "stages" of grief, or to follow a particular time-line in his grieving.
The emails led to some actual dates and even some more serious dating. I realized that the restlessness which originally led to my decision to try dating was really but another phase of the grief process. I realized that my restlessness was a form of protection from a deeper layer of my grief process. While the desire to date can definitely be part of the move beyond grief, there is a need to really explore where one’s feelings are coming from.
The widower must eventually develop a new relationship with his late wife -- which could take months or years depending on his unique situation.