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Unfortunately, life doesn't stop just because one is hurting.Despite grief, there will be chores that need doing and bills that need paying.Any and all of these emotions are enough to make people miserable, and to find them wanting to cry at 3am in the morning.Painful as they are, these sorts of emotions are generally natural grief-related reactions to a very difficult life-altering situation.
Different coping strategies and skills are appropriate to address each of these aspects of divorce.
There can be guilt over perceived failures to have made the relationship work.
There can be overwhelming depression at the thought of the seeming impossibility of being able to cope with all the changes that are required.
There can be fear at the prospect of being single again, possibly for a long time (or even forever), and with having to cope with changed financial, living and social circumstances.
There can be anger at a partner's stubborn obstinacy and pettiness, abuse, or outright betrayal.
Several years is a long time, however; really too long to spend exclusively grieving when life is so short.