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ZZ5 testified that she did not begin to resist Jovanovic until three or more hours into their date: She said the reason she took so long to say no to his atrocities was that she felt intellectually intimidated by Jovanovic, that she initially thought his tying her up "was a joke," and that she had trouble "being assertive." "I don't now, but I did then," she said, before dissolving in tears on the stand.This testimony by an admitted bullshitter seemed to give the defense a good chance to prove its case for consent.But cyberculture has also transformed the contents of courtship. Rather than vying to voice their idealization of a cyber-beloved, Zutzut5 and Gray describe .themselves in debased or jaded terms.It has turned the expression of traditional romantic love into its opposite, converting potential lovers into rival Scheherazades, each trying to top the other with the most sordid and shocking images or ideas. The two proceeded to discuss their prior experience in RPGs (computer role-playing games), their parents, educational backgrounds, and career aspirations (hers to be a lawyer, his to get his doctorate). ZZ5 laments her lack of morals, her prior "girly"-ness, her "fickelly obsessive" tendencies in relationships.
As one participant explained: "You have to keep a person interested.On the stand, ZZ5 admitted that she had willingly submitted to some of Jovanovic's tortures.And her post-torture behavior also appeared inconsistent.She delayed seeking medical help for the supposedly painful aftermath of her ordeal for several days. "Quite bruised mentally and physically, but never been so happy to be alive, now if I'm happy simply because I'm not dead, well, some may question that. [William] Burroughs best sums my state, saying something about rotting eggs or rotting cheese, the taste is so overpoweringly delicious, and at the same time, quite nausiating so that one will eat and puke and eat and puke until collapsing from exhaustion." "As happy as ever, and with renewed enthusiasm for life," she wrote in her last note.
Conclusive physical evidence in the case was lacking.Jovanovic called himself Gray, a handle--the term went unused during the month-long trial--that he explained in his first communication with his accuser: "I generally wear black and gray, if you haven't guessed already." His choice of screen name may have had a deeper meaning.